Processing...

I started this blog to help document what's doing on with Jesse and to keep friends and family in the loop. I try to not make it too much about me - I sometimes wonder if I should just start an indulgent Bethany Blog. Maybe I will one day.

People express themselves in lots of ways, and it's actually nice to write out your thoughts. It feels like you can confirm them once they've been written out - your thoughts and feelings are validated, or sometime like that. So, this blog is me processing what's going on in my heart and my head. Feel free to quit reading. ;)

We're moving in about two weeks. Two weeks from now, our home will be packed up and empty. We're heading 'home' to Oklahoma. I've missed Oklahoma the nearly 4 years I've lived in the Houston area. I've always referred to Oklahoma as 'home', and Scott would sometimes teasingly question me about that. The truth is, I have a new home. This has become home.

What a mess of emotions it is to move. REALLY, it's more of a mess of hectic craziness. There's so much to do that I haven't felt like I've had a chance to do any emotional processing or letting it sink in that all these changes are coming.

Maybe it's that tonight was our last official Community Group. Maybe it's that 'my school' that I haven't even taught at for the 16 months that Jesse has been out and about is having a going away party for me tomorrow night. Maybe it's that it's 12:20 am, but I started feeling. I started getting sad, and it feels good to actually get to process how I feel. Our time here has been incredibly blessed!!! God had such amazing things in store for us, and I just love it when God has precious plans for us that far exceed any we could have planned on our own.

I taught two years of first grade in OK before moving to TX to teach 2nd grade at Griffin Elementary. That's where I learned that I LOVED teaching 2nd grade. Second grade was my niche. I had taught at three different schools in the first three years I taught, and it was such a joy to get to return to Griffin for a second and third year. The teachers and admin at Griffin supported me through my stupid broken arm... The girls I taught with were the first outside of family that knew I was pregnant. I will never forget feeling so sick one day, then being asked if I was pregnant. I started crying - I was so happy to be pregnant but probably more nervous and afraid. Their support and secret-keeping skills helped me out so much and endeared them to me even more.

The camaraderie that teachers have when they work together is sometime you can only understand if you've taught. You need those teachers to listen to you when you're frustrated or discouraged or bewildered. And they get it. They've been there. I love my Griffin Grizzlies. How amazing is it that any of them even care to help see me off with a going away party? I'm so blessed.

I can not say enough about the community, family, and support we've received from our church home, WordServe. We moved hours from family members, but God decided to go ahead and give us an amazing church family. It was through WordServe and our 'blessings in the disguise of Texas residents' that Scott and I were able to be a part of a church plant. No other church experience will be able to compare to this unique opportunity we've had in helping plant and grow God's church.

It's where we went on our first mission trip together, and what a doozy of a trip it was. It's where we worked hard together as the blind leading probably the 'not-so-blind' in building a children's ministry. It wasn't always pretty, but we had children's ministry every week. And the children of WordServe are learning to love to worship and pray and learn about God. It was our WordServe friends who came to our home at 5 am the Monday morning we were heading to the hospital for our C-section to cover us in prayer. They were among the first to welcome Jesse to the world. They celebrated along with us. My heart overflows with joy, love, and already the saddness in not getting to see them multiple times every week.

I'll miss this home. This is where we brought Jesse home. This is the house I'd navigate at all hours of the night, where's I'd walk, bouncing, bouncing, bouncing my boy to sleep. It's where he first learned to roll his way around then eventually army crawl. It's where my boy and dog loved playing in the backyard together and just wandering around the cul de sac. The park down the street is where Jesse first learned that the loved to swing.

This will always be a precious place to me. I mourn the loss of it but know that God is so GOOD. He has great things in store. I'm happy to get to be closer to family. I'm happy to be near my OK friends. Praise God for His faithfulness in blessing us again and again.